Why this artefact was Included
I wanted to understand why some of the strategies have not worked for me, this video was instrumental in providing me the clarity I needed.
Why is it Impossible to Gain Confidence?
Sometimes Repetition, repetition, repetition, putting yourself out there to face that failure is a part of life, etc. Dr. Alok Kanojia says this happens because you can't gain confidence. Confidence is the default state and what you gain is insecurities. So you need instead to be letting go of something. The solution to gaining confidence is to unlearn insecurity. This phenomenon can be observed in children, if they are in a healthy environment they are confident. The default nature state is to be confident. People then lose their confidence because they are taught insecurity. People can't gain confidence because it is lost.
How do you unlearn insecurity: Return to your baseline. Let go of things you have picked up along the way. Work through core beliefs that have been formed through internalised feelings from negative external experiences.
Ask yourself when was the last time you felt confident and what changed that you no longer feel that way. There are usually emotional charged experiences. The second is that these emotions are usually not worked though, they are unresolved. When these emotions and experiences are worked through you begin to realise that the conclusions that were drawn which developed into insecurities were unrealistic.
What we need to do is go back and reexamine these experiences. And recontextualise these experiences and understand how you felt. The powerful emotions often lead to incorrect conclusions. Hence why you need to deal with this experience and more often than not external learning does not help.
The answer then is to take approaches that help you dig up the experience, analyse it, and then ask yourself what were the more appropriate conclusions you could have drawn. Experience the emotions that rise when you realise that you may have been caring around an insecurity that was unfounded. This does not fix it but helps you to identify and address it appropriate when lessons its power over time. And that's when the confidence comes back. When is substantiated by the going out, repetition, repetition, repetition, etc, the problem with doing the actions first is that it can be a negative feedback loop if thing do not go well.
Short Reflection On Its Value
This artifact gave me a nuanced view of what confidence is and helped me understand that they are informed by lived experiences.
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